You bascially grew up in a cult that has a lot of support even with the current culture of the NC Legislature.

I don't see how your situation is all that different from the young Mormon men thrown out of the the polygamous communities into which they are born when they reach and age that they are competition for the old men who want to have sex with girls.

You have more skills (you can read and write), but in the situation you were in, appeasing someone else was what you were taught to do.

I think it's amazing that you have come as far as you have from that place in which you found yourself.